tapestry

Life in the Mountains

I recently had a conversation with a woman in Los Angeles about what it is like here in the San Juan Mountains. There seems to be a certain mystique about how life unfolds here, especially for those who live in densely populated areas, and major metropolitan communities. It is mornings like these that help me respond to that question. There is undoubtedly a change in the seasons right around the corner, the mountains still have snow on them, but there are patches of green grass that are showing. There is a natural rhythm, one that is predictable and comfortable. The chill of the mornings give way to warmer days, and the hope of summer.

It is hard to describe to some the fact that I haven’t heard a siren (more…)

Today is the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. If you are conscious at all today you will most likely be barraged with news and reminders of that day 40 years ago. My mind this morning immediately went to “how old was I”. The answer is 12 years old. Quickly I thought about who I was at 12, and I would suspect I was free. I already had what King and the country was hoping for. The question came to me, when did I loose that freedom, and I would say the day I took my first drink, which would have been 3 years later at the age of 15. For the next 25 years I was a slave to alcohol. It was my master, my lover, my companion. And in that we all know there is no freedom.

So what happens to us when we really begin to work at our recovery? Freedom does come, and interestingly enough it has a price tag as well. But the price we pay for our work on our path will net life, and not assassination. The price is one of time invested in meetings, pages that are expired on a journal or relationships that need to be let go of.

Today I invite you to ask what you are paying for, are you paying for freedom or are you moving closer to your own death. What I have learned is that moving toward our own death doesn’t just have to be through our addiction, but we can get so far away from our divine purpose in this life that we are slowly dying.

Are you free today????

I just returned from a week long self imposed “Spring Break”. It has been a hard winter here in the Mountains if you have been following me. Last week I realized that I had a week that didn’t have much on the calendar and might be a good “get away week”.

So I loaded Isabella (my four year odf beagle in the car) and took a drive. For me finding time to spend on the road is a good thing, it reminds me that we need to drive to get somewhere. I think that is true for our lives and our recovery. My time away gave me a sense of clearing, not that I wasn’t too far from my thoughts, as a woman in recovery I never am, but I found that my thoughts weren’t as clouded as they have been.

Even though I have returned to the lodge and had to get a fire going again this morning I feel revived and ready to tackle the next 6 months of business. I am wondering when you allowed yourself time away recently. When you left did you try to stay connected or really escape? Are you feeling like you are too old for a spring break? I would say you aren’t and maybe you just need to let the kid out in you to enjoy.

Last night as I crawled into bed I was reminded of a metaphor that worked for me in early sobriety.  I was the type of woman who always seems to live on the edge of everything, not in a dangerous way but always teeter tottering and flirting with edges…does that make any sense to you?  I recall that one evening since I shared the king sized bed only with my beagle Isabella (more…)

My morning ritual here in the mountains in Pagosa Springs is very much a part of how the rest of my day goes. In the winter time my first thing after the first cup of coffee is poured is to get the fire started for the day. And of course you are asking what does this have to do with being on a road to recovery. On a day like today when the temperatures are at about 17 degrees and another major storm is moving our direction it is the way I stay warm. (more…)