tapestry

We are beginning to hear the sounds of spring here in the mountains. Yesterday as I was walking around the property where I live I heard birds that were chirping to remind  others of where the sunflower seeds are.  As I listened to them yesterday and again this morning I thought about the patterns in life. How do the birds know to return to the same location for food, how are they drawn to my particular feeder when there are many others to choose from. That of course brings me to the title of this post, Patterns.

I have recently been a part of an man’s life and transition from a place of comfort and knowing. What became apparent as he tried to start his new life is that he was falling back into a habitual pattern, a place he had been before. Kind of like the ground hog day experience. The only thing that had changed in this situation was the location, the people and the place. There was a common denominator in his journey, and that was him. As we discussed the pattern he was able to realize that until the pattern was unraveled and examined and some important questions asked he would most likely do it again.

It reminded me of the moment that I realized that so much of my life and the chaos that seemed to come my way was because of the way I kept going back to the same  feeder and singing the same songs, just like the birds I heard yesterday. So as you think about spring wherever you are right now what are you noticing about your patterns, are you repeating something you have done before, choosing a relationship you have been in before or responding to something in a new way. The birds and other animals need certain patterns to survive and at times we think we do as well. I would invite you to look deeply into what you return to and why.

Last night as I crawled into bed I was reminded of a metaphor that worked for me in early sobriety.  I was the type of woman who always seems to live on the edge of everything, not in a dangerous way but always teeter tottering and flirting with edges…does that make any sense to you?  I recall that one evening since I shared the king sized bed only with my beagle Isabella Read the rest of this entry »

Over the weekend I watched “What’s Love Got to Do With It”, the story of Ike and Tina Turner. And after some discussions with a colleague of mine about women and relapse my mind can’t seem to move from this topic. I was moved at the end of the movie when Tina was talking with her new agent( after she finally kicked her addiction to the curb), and she was talking about what she didn’t want to do with her music anymore. It made me stop and think about relapse, and even the experience I had the other day that a really frosty glass of Chardonnay Read the rest of this entry »

My morning ritual here in the mountains in Pagosa Springs is very much a part of how the rest of my day goes. In the winter time my first thing after the first cup of coffee is poured is to get the fire started for the day. And of course you are asking what does this have to do with being on a road to recovery. On a day like today when the temperatures are at about 17 degrees and another major storm is moving our direction it is the way I stay warm. Read the rest of this entry »

The last time I sat at the computer I was watching the snow fall and drift around me. There was a certain cocooning that I was able to do as a result of the storm. Out at Tapestry Lodge where I live we had almost 6 feet of snow Read the rest of this entry »

Hi welcome to my new Web log, I am glad you are taking some time out of your busy day to check in with me. I live in the San Juan Mountains where we must have had at least 2 feet of new snow Read the rest of this entry »