Each morning as I pour my first cup of coffee I have a Marianne Williamson, perpetual calendar with a Course in Miracle quote on it. It helps to remind me what day it is if I have lost track of time. When I turned it for today’s quote I noticed today is April 14th.
For many as it once was for me today creates a ton of stress. In 2001 the year before I got sober I hadn’t filed taxes for 6 years and owed the IRS well over $100,000. As I sat in the rooms of Alcoholic’s Anonymous I learned that I wasn’t terminally unique on that, maybe the amount was different, but what was common to many of trudging this path was we had “issues” with the IRS.
Suffice it to say that I worked diligently to pay off that debt. What I have learned since that time is that you actually have to open the mail…did you know that? All kidding aside I learned the financial penalty was far greater the toll it took on my soul. Not meeting the deadline of getting my taxes prepared, filed and arrangements made almost made me feel criminal. I realize this is not common to alcoholics, I am certain there is a large percentage of folks out there that are delinquent in getting taxes done and prepared.
I came into the rooms of AA with very battered esteem, many didn’t know that because the type of work I did paid me very well, I owned my own home, had nice clothes all the externals. But I was living a dual life; the internals were all messed up. One thing that I was told would help was if I did “self esteeming acts”. At first I took that to meant volunteering at the soup kitchen or something noble like that. But I quickly learned that if I worked on the internal things like keeping my commitments, meeting my obligations and even facing those IRS papers, I would get more momentum toward my esteem than any volunteer act.
I want to invite those of you who are not in good grace with some of the big things like taxes, child support, bill payments and the like to know the penalty that you might pay financially does not even come close to the penalty you will pay in your spirit. There is grace in meeting deadlines, freedom in knowing you are current or at least on the road to it. I would never have guessed during the throws of my drinking this could be true.
What would it take for you to take steps to get current in your life? Are there outstanding relationships even that need to be addressed? It might be as simple as are you current with having your teeth cleaned, a physical done by your physician?
Take time today to look at those deadlines that might have passed and choose not to be in the penalty box.