Last night as I crawled into bed I was reminded of a metaphor that worked for me in early sobriety. I was the type of woman who always seems to live on the edge of everything, not in a dangerous way but always teeter tottering and flirting with edges…does that make any sense to you? I recall that one evening since I shared the king sized bed only with my beagle Isabella
that I should allow myself to sleep in the middle. And as I moved closer last night to the middle of the bed with brand new L.L. Bean flannel sheets I was comforted and nestled in. The past few weeks have been challenging for me, and some of the foundation of the world as I knew it was being shifted. Since I no longer choose to exercise my choice to have a drink on my road to recovery I find I need other symbols or actions to remind me that I am safe. Sleeping in the middle of the bed is one. So my question to you out there who might read this is what do you do to make yourself feel safe? Do you allow yourself to stay in the middle rather than living on the edge. Do you know what your “edges” are. Do you edges mean like mine do that I think that a taking a drink might solve them.
So even if you don’t live in the mountains were our nights are still very cold and the snow hasn’t melted yet I would invite you to crawl into the center of your bed and allow yourself to nest and be safe.