tapestry

Last weekend a dear friend here in Nebraska gave me a wonderful book.  The Shack by WM. Paul Young.  It has been a long time since I have dedicated an entire weekend to reading, but from the moment I picked the book up Friday after work I was drawn, or better yet driven to find the kernels of wisdom for me in it.  The fictional story of Mack takes one through all of the questions many of us have as we sojourn in life.  I was particularly moved by his description of “The Great Sadness”, the words I read so eloquently described the last 8 months and how I have felt. 

The passage I wanted to share here however is about grace…in the dictionary grace is defined as “the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them”, it made me think of the times and way that grace has been a part of my path.  One of the things I have learned that I have as a part of my character is resilience, the ability to return to myself when times seem the darkest.  The last few months have been that for me, and I am pleased to know that grace has been operating in my life.  In The Shack Mack is having a conversation were it is said “Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.”  This sentence got me to thinking about the colors of grace I have been given.  What I have learned about this part of my journey is that grace is operating even though I don’t know that it is.  When I feel grace is when I come out of the darkness and am able to see the light…

Where have you been that has been dark?

What was it that kept  you there?

When did you know that you were coming out of it?

When did you get to the other side and see that grace is what pulled you through?

All of these questions I found myself pondering as I tried to understand the reason for the darkness and the encouragement of the light….grace as I know it now. 

Last week I was having a conversation with someone I love dearly.   During that conversation I made the comment “I have been to the mountaintop”.  I was even a bit surprised those words came out of my mouth.  I am not one of those people who has had a “white light experience” or nothing as profound  as near death expereince.  But I do feel I have been to the mountain top.  And then as I watched the activities of the last two days with the Inaugration of our 44th President Barack Obama, I started to ponder more about what that means to me. 

What I realized this mornning was  the feeling  I wanted to convey during the conversation that didn’t happen was, for me at the top of the mountain”Everything Makes Sense and Nothing Makes Sense”.  Michael Beckwith of Agape Spiritual Center, Culver City, CA, was speaking on Spiritual Liberation two weeks ago in Denver.  I credit much of the evolution of my consciousness to being able to attend his center for 7 years while living in Southern California.  During the 3  hour presentation I experienced many emotions and a soul massage.  During one of the meditations he does with his wife Rickie Byars Beckwith chanting in the background I was elevated to the top of the mountain once more.   While at the top, everything made sense to me…Unconditional Love, Joy, Peace and Understanding are found.  I felt connected, both to the spark of light that I know is spirit within me, but to those around me and those that I love.  Everything felt right, whole complete including me. 

So how does the “Nothing Makes Sense” fit?  Once I came back to the heartland and tried to connect to those people I love nothing that I felt that evening was present for me.  But the experience of the mountaintop doesn’t go away.  I am really struggling with some personal issues in my life right now, and without the mountain top experience I would probably not have hope.  But because I am able to recognize the top I know that it is attainable.

I would want you to know that you don’t have to have a white light experience or even die and come back to life, but when we chose to connect, really authentically connect with our fellow travelers we can get there.  That at that moment when you feel like everything makes sense, all things fit together,  when all pain is void of anything but understanding and agape love you are at the top of the mountain.  And when nothing makes sense that is a part of the mountain top experience also.  We have to have both experiences to know …to be light.

When Rick Warren led our country, nation and world in  the Lord’s Prayer yesterday, my face was wet with tears.  I know one of the obligations I have is to create more of heaven on earth.  And I know it isn’t something that one can do alone…will you climb with me to the top of the mountain?  Will you help our nations leaders by Inaurgating (commence officially) a  new way of being? 

Namaste’