tapestry

If you have followed any of my entries you will know that one of the spiritual readings that frequents my nightstand is A Course in Miracles.  I find the phrase to be gentler wouldn’t be kinder so appropriate.  In my work with people in recovery or even those that are conscious enough and have a desire to understand the matrix of their lives, it can become a powerful healing thought.  Recently in my own life I have experienced the power of severe action by someone very close to me.  For a good week I would say that my world was turned upside down.  What that looks like for me is no point of connection,  floating through of the days to get to the night to find oneself doing the same thing over and over…It is a painful and a disconnected place to be.  Thinking about it now I realize it is much like I was during my drinking days. After what I thought was a well deserved pity party I re-engaged in morning meditation and surprise the right thought came to me, which provided the breath I needed.  What I heard was “he did you a favor”.  All of a sudden what I thought had been done to me, I could see was done for my own good.  This loving soul was more courageous than I and realized the best way through the situation was to remove himself from the situation.  Something that a month prior I knew I should do but couldn’t…. Am I making any sense? 

What I realized over the past couple of days is that in my past I would drink over the thought that something had been done to me.  I especially did that with my personal relationships.  The phrase we hear, I get mad at you and I drink.  What I realized is that if he had been gentler with me, I wouldn’t have gotten it…and it wouldn’t have been kinder.

To some of you this may not seem to be a big deal, but it reminded me of how powerful being able to look at the gift of each situation is.  Last week for example he was a coward, a immature little boy.  And today what I realize is that he has more spiritual courage than I do, because to continue the way things were would have been nuts.

What does this mean for you?  If you have been “hurt” by someone recently I would invite you to look at what they did and ask yourself if you might have needed that for your own peace of mind.  Did they do for you what you couldn’t do for yourself.  Did he leave you, did your boss fire you, did you get a DUI.  It is a reminder to me that every experience whether we can see it as good or bad is designed for the emancipation of our soul. 

I have learned that in some instances the person that we think is the perpetrator might very well be showing up to give us something that we are not willing to look at, do for ourselves or be in order for us to grow up. 

Could this be happening in your life?