tapestry

This morning I got to thinking about what it feels like when we attach ourselves to anything. For many of us we were attached to our drugs or alcohol for many years. And I would suspect that you might find something in common with me I have attachments to many other things. In the past few weeks I have been taking a look at the attachment I have had to the place I live. If you have followed any of my posts here you know this place has been one of my greatest healers and teachers. And I have been recently asking myself am I attached.

What would it feel like for me to let go of this physical structure, this place of peace. I ask myself would I find peace elsewhere, would I be able to find inspiring things to write about (that is assuming this is inspiring!!!). It may come to that soon for me, I have been asked to once again look at what I hold as dear to me.

Attachments serve us, until they don’t, have you heard me say something like that before? It is true with people, relationships, jobs, dreams and even beautiful lodges in the mountains. The question becomes what are you attached to? Have you known deep in your heart that you were attached and wanted to let it go but don’t know how? Have you convinced yourself that things would get better and with the change in something it would look different? If you are hanging on the question I have had to ask about my own attachment is “what am I most afraid of if I let it go?

Ponder today the fear of the unknown…

One night this week as I was getting ready to get comfortable and watch Intervention, I glanced out the window to see a herd of Elk coming down from the mountains into the valley that I live in. In the two years I have been here I haven’t seen a herd this size. They are majestic animals. I was struck by how they stuck together, feeding and almost watching each other to make sure of their safety.

Frequently when I see such a force of nature in my world I consult with my animal medicine cards to learn what they stand for and what they are here to teach us. So this morning I looked up Elk and found their energy means “stamina”. I thought the additional lesson that I got from reading is especially important for us women in recovery. I read ” Elk medicine means it may be important for you to see the company of your own gender for awhile. You may need a support group to realign yourself with the stamina of the warrioress energy that you are apart of. ”

The reading also goes on to suggest that you may want to look at how you are holding up physically to the stresses in your life, and to pace yourself. I thought all of these comments were particularly appropriate for those of us who are now dedicated to living a life with purpose and passion. I am learning it takes a tremendous amount of stamina to hold fast to the dream, to sort through what part of the work is yours and what part is that of the greater universal being.

What is your stress level? Is it true that you might need to hang with your herd? Are you bracing yourself for the long haul in this life of recovery? Are you giving yourself permission to follow instead of lead. I am grateful today to the elk as they provided me the opportunity to go inside once again and see where I am. (more…)

Each morning as I pour my first cup of coffee I have a Marianne Williamson, perpetual calendar with a Course in Miracle quote on it. It helps to remind me what day it is if I have lost track of time. When I turned it for today’s quote I noticed today is April 14th.

For many as it once was for me today creates a ton of stress. In 2001 the year before I got sober I hadn’t filed taxes for 6 years and owed the IRS well over (more…)