Today is the second day into the spring season. I was away for a couple of days and had a chance to see some green grass and buds on trees. I wasn’t anywhere tropical but after the winter that we have had here in the mountains it felt like it. As I sit this morning and look at the grounds of the retreat center and the mountains that surround it is easy to see that we are still in between worlds here. There are patches of ground that show, but still a pile of snow that blocks one part of my driveway. I realized that even though spring has officially arrived that we are still living between worlds, or at least seasons.
As you may have noticed I find the world around me always helps me to see and understand where I am in my own journey. And just as it feels like we are between seasons here, I feel as if I am in between right now, in between what I thought my life would be at 52 and what it actually is. It is a place that happens in my recovery I notice when I actually forget who I am. One of my favorite quotes from Conversations with God is that many times “we have to become everything we aren’t to become everything we are.” I know that has been true for me many times throughout my life. Once again I am feeling that I have become everything I am not. This time however it isn’t the same kind of place, it isn’t dark, it doesn’t have me in shackles at I once was. But there is an awareness that the life I have created isn’t as fulfilling as it could be.
So the question to you becomes where are you in regard to the seasons, are you in full bloom as will happen here in the coming weeks. Have you just uncovered yourself from a something that you hope will bring more light into your life. Are you willing to identify if you are in one world/season or split. The one thing we can count on in our lives is change, evidenced by the change in the seasons and the marking of the spring equinox on the calendar. As you begin your day, or end your day spend some time reflecting on your world. There is not right place to be…that is what I have learned from the change of the seasons this year. The thing that is important is that we at least know where we are.